How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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