How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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