How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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