How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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