How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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