How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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