How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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