How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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