How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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