How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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