How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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