How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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