How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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