How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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