How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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