How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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