How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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