How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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