How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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