How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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