How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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