How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.

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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.

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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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