How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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