How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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