How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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