How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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