How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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