How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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