How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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