How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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