How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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