How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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