How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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