How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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