How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.


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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili

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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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