How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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