How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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