How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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