How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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