How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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