How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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