How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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