How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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