How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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