How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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A seal walks into a club...
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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