How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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