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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?
A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why does cheese look sane?
Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.
Senator.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?
What? You can change light bulbs?
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?
Because he wears a size "S".
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.
That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?
Parachute school!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?
Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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