How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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