How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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