How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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