How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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