How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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