How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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