How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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