How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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