How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.

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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.

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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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