How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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