How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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