How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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