How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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