How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel

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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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