How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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