How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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