How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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