How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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