How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.

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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split

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