How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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