How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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