How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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