How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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