How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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