How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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