How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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