How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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