How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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