How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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