How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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