How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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