How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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