How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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