How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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