How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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