How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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