How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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