How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.

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