How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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