How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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