How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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