How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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