How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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