How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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