How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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