How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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