How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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