How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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