Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Stop! You're under a vest.
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Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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