How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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