How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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