How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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