How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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