How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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