How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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