How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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