How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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