How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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