How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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