How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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