How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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