How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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