How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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