How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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