How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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