How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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