How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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