How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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