How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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