How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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