How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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