How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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