How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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