How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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