How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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