How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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