How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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