How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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