How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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