How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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