How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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