How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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