How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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