How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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