How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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