How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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