How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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