How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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