How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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