How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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