How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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