How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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