How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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