How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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