How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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