How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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