How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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