How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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