How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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