How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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