How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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