How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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