How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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