How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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