How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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