How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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