How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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