How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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