How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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