How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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