How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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