How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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