How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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