How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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