How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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