How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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