How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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