How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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