How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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