How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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