How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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