How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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