How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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