How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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