How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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