How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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