How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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