How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.

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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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