How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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