How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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