How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.

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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.

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