How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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