How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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