How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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