How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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