How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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