How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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