How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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