How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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