How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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