How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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