How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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