How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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