How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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