How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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