How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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