How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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