How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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