How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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