How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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