How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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