How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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