How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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