How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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