How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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