How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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