How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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