How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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