How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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