How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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