How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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