How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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