How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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