How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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