How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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