How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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