How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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