How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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