How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.

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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.

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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats

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